Failed comforts

Arionna de la Babin

Arionna was doing her best to focus on her studies. She had braille to finish before school was out, lest she require a tutor (Ari was not a fan of people, and so she was particularly motivated do it on her own). Then there were magical studies. It wasn't as...scholarly...as Elijah's, though she might have thrived in such an environment, but it still required concentration and work. This meant that she was busy. She had taken time to help Eli with his parents, but then it was back to work.

Ari was getting increasingly focused. She liked her studies, and if she truly wanted to dedicate herself to her worship...

Wouldn't that mean that much of life in general was a distraction? How did Lavi effectively live on the road without an education and secure job?

The house was quiet, mostly, with only her uncle and herself present, though her aunt would be home soon. She moved around the house in a pair of pajama pants and a tank top, glasses left away because she didn't need them, and her stick held against her body while she tried to move around the house without using it. She didn't know, yet, that Eli was coming, but when he did, she would find it a bit surprising. 

Elijah

The house was quiet, mostly. The house was about to get louder, because with Elijah there came sound. There came movement. There came motion. He hadn't seen Arionna since his parents had left. Maybe on campus, if she was ever on campus. He still worked there, he still had studies to go through. While the Order had quite a number of things that he had to learn, he didn't seem to be drowning in his studies. It was actually something he could look forward to-

Even if he did end up dusting a lot of things that Elijah was pretty sure might be cursed. One had to be careful with other peoples things, you never know quite what you're handling.

So there he was, at the front door, motorcycle in the drive way and his backpack slung over his shoulder. He knocked, hard, sharp fast. Three times and then done.

"Aaaaaarionnaaaaaaaaa, I brought you strawberries."

Arionna de la Babin

[alertness]

Dice: 6 d10 TN6 (1, 1, 4, 4, 5, 9) ( success x 1 )

Arionna de la Babin

She is... out of it. Or maybe she's tired. She doesn't move as deftly around the house as she would like, though she does manage if only because of memory. It takes the third knock for her to hear him, and Ari begins the progression to the door. 

Lily, and her lovely perfect car, slides into the drive way, parking neatly behind his motorcycle without much care. When she steps out, her dark hair is pinned back perfectly on her head, and her head held high as she clicks her way on her heels towards the door. Ari opens the door when Lily is halfway to the door, giving a cold look at Elijah.

"Strawberries?" Her brows furrow a little because she smells nothing (are they something you can smell easily?). Ari steps to the side, and Aunt Lily is right behind Elijah, her purse held in her thin, bony hand. She doesn't say anything but expects Elijah to move one way or another; Forward or back... he will decide eventually, though she expects now.

"You're in high spirits, Elijah." Ari tilts her head a little and she reached out for Eli's arm t pull him in. "We can go upstairs."

Elijah

Lily gives Elijah a cold look, and he can't help himself. he literally can not help himself, because he looks at her and beams at her, for her, because she is there and he's pleased to be there and how dare he be anything other than pleased to be in good company. He even waves, "hi. Want some strawberries?"

But then, there's Ari, she steps aside and he steps on to take Ari's arm since she's pulling him in, "I survived to twenty-one. I feel like I've accomplished something."

Arionna de la Babin

She is unphased. Lily  looks towards Ari as she pulls him in. Lily steps past the two of them as if they didn't even exist. "I will be having guests later this evening. I expect you'll be on good behavior." And then she was gone, wandering past the kitchen and livingroom to the beyond. 

Ari closes the door behind Elijah. "Twenty one is hardly an age to be celebrating. Most people in the western hemisphere make it to that age." But now she was moving slowly, making her way in the direction of the stairs. 

Elijah

[Totally chipper and good!]

Dice: 7 d10 TN6 (2, 3, 6, 7, 7, 8, 9) ( success x 5 )

Elijah

He drops his voice, steps in to Ari and whispers as though he were the narrator of some great epoch, "I expect you'll be on good behavior, she said. Her voice like strings held taut for so long that they knew no slack. But only the dark haired maiden knew if she could trust her companion to make good on such an imperative."

But it was off to the right places, and he stood straight and tall again and he followed. Lily was unphased and he, bright and chipper, continued on to wherever it was that Ari was taking them. Truth be told, she could have left him in the basement and he wouldn't have particularly cared. He just seemed to go… wherever. Perhaps a little distracted, perhaps too chipper for all the things that have happened.

"I got shot. It was kind of iffy."

Arionna de la Babin

Ari snickered.

She snickered and then she laughed. "You'll get me in trouble, you know. I swear she hears nearly everything." At the top, she closed her door and locked it as she often did. Ari was protective of her space; she liked having a private place to work on her magic, or in some cases, have a friend (her only friend) over and talk about matters that she felt Lily ought not to know about. "There couldn't be two individuals more different than you and she."

Elijah got shot. Ari's brows dropped again and she lifted her cane to give him a whack on the leg. "What did you do?!"

Elijah

"If you don't see me after this, presume your aunt buried me in the basement or something," he paused, "do you have a basement? Basements are imperative for nefarious plans. Besides, if you get in trouble here, it just means we have to go out- which is exhausting, so I suppose I should keep my subversive activities on the down low."

He came to the room and took a quick look around. he left his backpack at the door, which was dropped with a quiet thud. He was careful with it- it actually did have strawberries in it, you know. Though, he does get to the part about being shot, and he does draw a sharp breath when she whacked him; he needed that shin, thank you very much!

"I went out to see a band, Sera and Dan were there- then, the place got shot up because- I don't know- some drug deal or something, I guess?" he shrugged, "that's what the news said. But anyway, shots were fired- I thought the bartender was going to die, ended up catching a bullet between the shoulder blades when I tried to vault the bar?"

he's pretty calm about this, and there are things he's leaving out. He's not talking about the fact that it nearly killed him, and would have had Serafíne not been there, "the bartender lived, though, so I think that was a plus."

Arionna de la Babin

"I suspected you had been the cause somehow. You're reckless." She moved to her bed and sat down, packing up her cane to put away. Ari knew where everything in her room was, she didn't need help. "I don't much care about anyone else really. Wouldn't you have had some inkling that the bar wasn't a place to be? I'd find it unlikely the more upscale establishments to have a shoot out over drugs. The people around here are more likely to quietly dismember you and drop you in the lake at their vacation home."

"And yes we have a basement. She's smart enough to know that burying you in her own home would be unwise. Best to bury someone in a place you're not known to visit. "

Her lips had pursed, displeased. But she sighed a little. "At least you're well now."

Elijah

"I prefer to deal with people who are going to outright shoot me than people who are going to steal my livelihood. There's honesty in turf wars, and I get being desperate enough to do something stupid. I mean, I'm not mad about it- I figure I could be, but… what's the point? It's done," he said with a shrug, "if I'm gonna do something to deserve getting shot, I'd be a lot more cavalier."

He does settle down, takes a step and sits with his back against the bed on the floor. He's close enough, but takes a second to just observe and take her in, take a little bit of joy in that. He doesn't think of things, though maybe this is a distraction. Maybe he's in good spirits because he wants to be instead of being mortified that the month has decided to try and kill him twice.

"But yeah, I'm here. I'm breathing, I'm… yeah, I'm good," he says, like that convinces him. Saying it makes it so, words have power and all that. "What's new? I haven't seen you in awhile."

Sounds an awful like I missed you.

Arionna de la Babin

She pulled her legs up slowly onto the bed, curling them in and crossing them. It gave her a place to put her hands since now, she could rest on her knees, or play with the fabric of her bed. Ari rarely blinked, and she knew it was upsetting to normal people (though normally she cared little) but here she didn't have need to cover them. Sometimes she wondered what she actually looked like. Where did she have a tendency to look exactly? How blank did she seem?

"I've never understood the appeal of drugs really. I understand the use as a means of escape, but they don't really provide that. The world still exists, and you still have  a place in it. When you return, you'll only return to a bigger mess. Ignoring a problem doesn't really make it go away, it often times makes it worse. If a problem is too great, you'd be better served simply leaving. Then escape is possible."

Ari cants her head, her soft locks swaying just a little as she listens to his movement. "Being alive doesn't constitute being good. The two aren't very well connected to one another. Which tells me you aren't really at all."

But he's curious as to her life, and if she noted the way his comment might have sounded, she didn't say anything about it. "Nothing." She states simply. "My life is considerably less exciting than yours. No shootings. No parents...just all the things I have been doing for months. Did you expect something different?"

Elijah

He reached over to the side, hand on her knee and trailing down her shin for a moment. A nice contact, a reminder that, yes- he was sitting in the floor, and yes- he was content to be precisely where he was. "Sounds like advocacy for responsible suicide," he tells her, "if the problem is too great, you're better served by leaving… except, sometimes, you don't actually get to leave but, y'know."

He shrugs, leans back against the bed. His thoughts travel, because he's always wondering when his thoughts are wandering, and soon enough he stretched his legs out in front of him, crossed at the ankles.

"I was hoping for something about what you've been studying, what you've found that sparks your passion, what words and thoughts and actions have pushed you forward and driven you on… as for me, I'm not always good. I'm not good right now, but I want to be, so I'm here. Which makes right now good."

Arionna de la Babin

"I suppose that is one way to leave a situation, but no, I meant the relocation of an individual. Moving, as an example. There might be new problems, but it does help escape the previous." Her chin tilts down a little at the affection, and at least now she knows his location. Exactly. "If someone wants to end their life, it is a choice that is theirs to make. It is a choice that can be criticized but ultimately understood and respected. It's no different to me than choosing to live. There is no right nor wrong answer. We all return to the same place eventually."  Maybe Lavinia was rubbing off on her more than she realized. "Then we will be reborn, and returned again in time. "

Ari reaches out to lightly touch his hand, to let him know she noticed. "How to read with my hands, how to understand the composition of the universe, and whether or not my path is true. If you really want to know, the question exists as to whether I am dedicated as much as I ought to be, or if I'm allowing interference."

Then Ari's brows furrowed slowly and her head tilted. "I wouldn't consider my home the pinnacle of joy. No one comes here to be happy or good. Unless your concept of 'good' involves impressive silverware, fancy meals, and proper english."

Elijah

Ari furrowed her brows, tile her head, and she can hear the grin on his face. "Tell me again why we are not going downstairs and being on our best behavior, then?"

Oh, there is a way he says it. There is a way that he says it that makes it sound like he means it, like he genuinely means that they could go downstairs and be bright and lovely and charming little children except there is a hint, an edge- an edge Elijah uses and uses well that tints his words. He's had to play nice and play perfect for awhile, stressed over it and picked through everything he believed to boil it into something that his potential tradition mates would buy.

Lily is not a Hermetic. Elijah could really give two shits about being perfect for her.

Arionna de la Babin

"I have no interest in those people." She says as simple and matter-of-factly as she can. "And for the moment, she controls the money. Both for myself and my mother." She uncurled her legs slowly. "We have time until her people come, most likely. Were you wanting something?"

Elijah may be trying to be playful, but Ari doesn't seem to take the bait. "In the end, you can leave. I can't. I have to return here each night, and I'd rather do it in peace. Hardly any fun, I know, but we both live in different situations it seems."

"You didn't come here to wreck a dinner party anyhow."

Elijah

"I never come to wreck a dinner party, but when the opportunity presents itself I have been known to wreck dinner parties," Ari doesn't take the bait though, and he sighs an overly dramatic sigh. He calms, less dramatic, "I actually do like dinner parties. If you can believe it, I actually like the almost high ritual aspect of it- rules and protocols the players in the game know. Courses brought and cleansing completed, like you're paying chiminage to some great and powerful spirit because if you play by their protocols, then they accept you as one of their own. The slightest break, a well-timed breath and a look are points made and challenges thrown. All done with this veneer that nothing is amiss. It's all languages spoken in flowers and fans and I kinda want to get good at it sometimes."

A moment passed again, an odd pause.

"Do you get along with your aunt? Like, do you like her?"

Arionna de la Babin

"I find some beings acceptable to come to mutual terms with, and others I think best to dominate. Appeasement should only be offered to those who deserve it. So I hate dinner parties. I hate the rules, the fake etiquette, and the forced dramatic conversation that always skirts around issues worth talking about for the more mundane gossip. In the case of her parties, it will be about business. Business is boring, dull, tiresome. The men aren't exactly worth speaking to."

"But you are a different person than I. You enjoy the presence of others, I don't. You approach the world with a far nicer perspective, I don't. You perceive people as being better than they truly are, and worth more of your time than they are...I don't."

"We coexist. I like her more than most people and less than a select few. I don't hate her, if that is what you're asking. We are similar in a lot of ways, and dissimilar in more. She is capable of limited magic, and that places her beneath me in many respects. " She pursed her lips for a moment.

"Anyone who proclaims true loyalty to your own personal cause and your own personal welfare is suspect. Everyone has their motivations, and they rarely align perfectly. In that vein, she and I are not...connected. So your question has a complicated answer. The simplest answer I can give you is, I don't mind her mostly."

"Why?"

Elijah

"The etiquette isn't fake, at one point it actually did have a purpose. There's symbolism and history in all of it, and it's not the ritual's fault that some people are too dumb to understand the purpose- if you're versed, you can spot a poser a mile away. It's training wheels for dealing with spirits, who really  do require that many rules," he stops, he rethinks.

He softens, "I didn't get it, I mean, I talked to Sera when we were talking about, like etiquette and the way the Order works and ritual and protocol because I was fucking tripped up over this and it wasn't that things don't have meaning- it's that some things have shit tons of meaning and you have to be open to it.

"A well-done dinner party is fucking art."

There was other stuff, things he needed to wonder, things he needed to field. He takes in what it is Arionna's saying and he inhales again, his breathing is measured. There are things he's not saying, but there are always things Elijah isn't saying. there's the problem, she knows well and good that he isn't all sunshine all the time, but what was his angle today?

"I just wanted to know," he says, "because I wanted to know if you guys cared about each other… because the way that it sounded, you guys just kind of tolerate each other."

Arionna de la Babin

[empathy -Bull]

Dice: 5 d10 TN6 (1, 1, 5, 7, 10) ( success x 2 )

Elijah

Elijah has suspicions. He has questions because he wants to know the dynamic of the place that he is in and all he can feel or see is resentment. The status differences on multiple levels- Arionna's perceived (or actual, depending on where you are) superiority towards a hedge mage. Her aunt's clear use of status as a means of control followed by Arionna's flaunting of conventional status to focus, instead, on the magical where she has power and she has pull. He wonders what the dynamic is like, because what he sees is a power struggle that remains unspoken. 

Arionna de la Babin

"Dinner parties are fake. The people at them, are fake. It isn't genuine. Any person who sits at a dinner party and engages in the banter they provide is nothing like they appear to be, and yet, they do it all to save face. "

Ari listens. She's not as attuned today as she often was, and she might blame that on her studying. But she listens to him, tries to feel the weight of him from where she is without even moving. "Tolerate is an acceptable term. Her feelings are unknown to me. She has always been as she is now, even when she located me. A sudden appearance I find very...suspicious."

"I...have very few individuals I care about. I may be able to count three that I find important enough to consider close to my person and worthy of my ...affection." She shifted a little in her seat to get comfortable again. "But you're probing at something else. If you want to know something, Elijah, then you should just ask it. You know I dislike subtlety in words."

Elijah

"I feel like your assessment of pomp and circumstance and falsehood-" there's something almost biting the way he says it. Elijah has a way with words, knows what he says sometimes, knows how to use them, wields things like daggers or poetry when he needs. Falsehood needed to be biting, because it was- the very nature of the word, "it doesn't matter what I feel."

Brushes it off, "that isn't why I came anyway. Talk about family dynamics because I'll just sound naive and I don't feel like being judged."

"You know I'm not as sunshine and rainbows and doesn't know how the world really works as I seem, right?" he's tense, rides across in his tone, "and sometimes, I don't think you mean it, but it comes across like you're judging me and I can't figure out what I did to deserve it or why I give a shit but I do." He shouldn't be talking, but he keeps going, "do you know that I killed something a couple days ago? Used True fucking words and Will and wrote something out of existence. Left it in a pile of charred flesh and ashes."

He's quiet after that. A long, awkward quiet.

"That's… why I came over. I nearly died on my birthday because I decided to save someone's life, and two weeks later I used magic to unmake something and it was all really fucked up and I wanted to spend time with you because I really fucking missed you."

Another moment, something raw, like… like pushing on a bruise or skin rubbed raw from rope too tight.

"I came over because I wanted to be around you, listen to the things that you love studying and make you happy, and affirm life because that's important because things can be really fucking dark and I just-" and thus, the young man with all the words, all the precision… lost them, "I don't know."

Arionna de la Babin

There's a sigh that lifts in the air. 

"Is it sad that I find amusement in you coming to me to feel better? I'm not skilled in comfort or appeasement. I don't even like it often times."

"Everyone judges us Eli. Even when they say they don't, they are. Everyone watches everything we each do, and they form opinions based on that information. Those are judgments. I can stop it no more than a frog can stop hopping. It's what we do. It's how we understand one another. Form our connections.. or whatever it is humans seek out. The only reason it's not so apparent from others is that they are kinder, gentler, and not aware of it. You don't need to be naive to miss that. Normal people just think that friends never think badly of them, never look at their decisions and make opinions of their character. Normal people trust enough to over look the fact that each moment we're assessing each other to keep each other within the confines of the 'rules.' "

"But I don't believe that anyone truly trusts me,, and I find it difficult to do it myself. You want us to talk, to exchange, and you want me to be nice about it, knowing I don't do that. You expect me to be someone I'm not. I use to do the same to you, and I've learned to move beyond it. "

Ari has an idea of how this is all going to end, but she keeps going. "I'll do a lot of things for you Eli, a gift I don't give to very many. If I have to choose between you and someone else...the odds are more than likely in your favor. I will even defend you, if I have to, and keep you safe from others like me. But I can't soften my words to make you feel better. Maybe that will hurt, and you'll feel judged...maybe you'll feel like I don't care. But I'll never lie. I will be honest because I believe in honesty. I'll tell you everything you don't want to hear, criticize your ideals, and push you. You're not naive, most of the time, you're not unaware of how bad the world can be, but you don't see everything. So when everyone else sugar coats their words and tries desperately not to hurt your feelings, I'll tell you exactly how I feel, and exactly what I think if you want to know it. I assume you do when we talk, but maybe I've been wrong."

She lifted a hand to pull a strand of hair from her lips, sliding it back behind her ear. "I'm sorry you had a rough time. That things didn't go the way you hoped, and it made you feel horrible. I'm sorry about your birthday. I didn't even know when it was. Or I might have visited. I can't even understand how you feel in 'unmaking' something, as I find the concept strange. I appreciate your sentiment. I find it puzzling, but I appreciate it anyway."

"Just don't expect happiness from me. It's not something I look for. I don't expect it. The world doesn't work that way. I can't give you that, no matter how much you want it. And I can't tell you about what I've been studying unless you anticipate looking at pages of raised dots or talking about how the world is put together or...whatever. I doubt that is a good idea given our past conversations."

"But I find it odd that I'm a person you come to when you aren't feeling as exuberant as usual. I've never been very cheery, or optimistic, or loving, or affectionate. And I have no reason to suddenly become that."

Elijah

[Manip+sub: I'm fine! +2, because seriously, no I'm not]

Dice: 7 d10 TN8 (1, 1, 8, 9, 9, 10, 10) ( success x 5 )

Arionna de la Babin

[buuull - empathy]

Dice: 6 d10 TN6 (5, 5, 7, 8, 8, 10) ( success x 4 )

Elijah

She can't see the way he looks right now, the way that his stomach tenses the way that he just looks at her like this was all some sort of expected. Like this was a punch he knew he'd walk into, but did it anyway. Even rubs his jaw as his breath catches in his throat.

"I'm… I'd better go," he says, stands up and starts to head for the door, towards his backpack, to rummage through whatever was there and determine whether or not he was actually going to leave produce for Arionna, "I'm not good company right now, I should let you get back to your studying."

"I'm a little too fake right now to be good company," which sounds like something conversational. Which sounds like just a matter of understanding when he isn't in a good headspace, "I wanted to try and be honest with you."

Arionna de la Babin

"Good company is boring company. I'd rather have your 'terrible' company than to study anymore braille. I know that may be difficult to believe, that I like something other than reading."

Ari senses something below the surface but.. nah it's probably nothing. He just sounds like Eli. "Were you? Were you completely honest? You sounded honest. You sounded genuine. I trust that you were. If you weren't, then you should be. Did you really visit because you felt bad and 'missed' having me around? Because if you did, I can't help but wonder why."

Elijah

"I'm never completely honest. I try to be, because I don't like lying to people, but I lie to people when I'm afraid of things hurting. It's funny, because at the core of magic I believe that there is Truth- pushing that aside negates the potency of our will and our desires," he says , contemplates for a moment before pushing forward. He hasn't finished picking up his things. Stalled. 

"I came here because I like hearing you laugh, and I like seeing you happy, and I like making you happy. I ask about your family and the things you like and your passions and your goddess because I hate the idea of you being lonely."

this was honest, and he does sling his backpack over his shoulder at that point, "but I'm pretty sure you've told me before about how you don't need people and how you're fine being alone so... I guess that's kind of dumb of me. It's not born out of a need for you, it's for me."

Arionna de la Babin

"No. I need people, some people. I learned that. Sometimes you need someone there. Maybe just to keep you alive. But someone needs to be there. But I'm use to being alone. I'm use to it, so I accept it. There's no sense in being upset about what is an inevitable truth."

"You will never be alone. You will always have friends and people willing to do everything for you. I am the opposite. One day, Lavinia will probably die, and I'll have no mentor. You are only part here. And my mother is miles away, in body and in mind. So I am alone. "

There's a forced, small smile. "You shouldn't worry about me. I make up my own stories to entertain myself. And if I need someone to talk to, I can just look in the mirror. Or..well..you know what I mean." Ari slid off the bed slowly, stepping towards the door to unlock and open it. 

"I think, if you want someone who is good at listening...Ian will help. If you want someone to make you feel better, Kiara will be there. Maybe even Grace. I'm just here to balance that." She stepped passed him, putting her hand on the railing and slowly making her way down with him. On the bottom step she paused, sliding her foot from left to right and then lightly tapping the floor to be certain it was solid. Ari made her way to the front door slowly to open it for him. "Drive safely."