The Kick Always Comes

Elijah
The apartment was decent enough, in that it had potential and Sid didn't have to actually drag him up the stars. He started up, a slow and purposeful gait and he had himself wondering how on earth he had fallen asleep so quickly, blithely unaware of the fact that Alicia had been calling him or she sheer amount of trouble he was going to be getting himself into. The fact that Jenn hadn't made it home to give him the business was probably testament to Jenn's inability to find her own car keys in any given situation.

We digress. There were a number of reasons Jenn wasn't there yet.

He didn't think to think of Alicia, or how she must be upset. He wasn't thinking of the aftermath of his little stunt. no, Elijah was thinking about his phone and how irritated he was that it didn't have better battery life.

Sid
It's good that Sid doesn't have to try and carry Elijah.  Her body is still recovering, and she has already worked so much magic today.  Not that she wouldn't do it, but she was glad when Elijah started to rouse in her truck.  It meant he was okay after all.  It meant she wouldn't have to try and brave a drive with two men she barely knows in her car, or have to be there when Richard caught them up.

Still.

When they reach Elijah's neighborhood and she parks her truck, despite her weakened state and her own paranoia, Sid offers to support him to his building and through the door.  On his way up the stairs she stays behind him.  If nothing else she might be able to break his fall should he topple backwards into her.

Their ascent is silent, and continues to be so - at least from Sid's quarter - until they reach his door.

"Will you be alright on your own?" she asks, because she has to.  There are the things that Sid thinks about herself and there is the truth of what she is, which isn't the same.  Truth is, she's a healer.  Truth is, she can't in good conscience walk away from here without knowing that he'll be okay.

Elijah
"I'm not that drunk," he tells her. He lies, doesn't know he is lying because he is pretty tipsy. Nothing a good night's sleep wouldn't cure, though. No, it is his pride, and it is his sense of… what? Decency? Compassion? Once he figures out how badly he scared Alicia, he's no doubt going to feel like an asshole. Beyond words, like an asshole.

Not at all like right now, when he just felt lightheaded. He couldn't help himself, his thoughts kept drifting to places he knew they probably shouldn't. It's passed the time he said he may fall in love, played off hopefully as a joke because if… no, nothing had changed between them. things were still kosher, and for that he was thankful. A perceptive creature, but terribly obtuse when he needed to be.
He lingered at the door, but didn't retrieve his key just yet.

"Are you okay?"

Sid
She could, if she wanted, check him herself.  She doesn't, though.  Not because she doesn't believe him, but because she's already read his Pattern.  There is nothing wrong with him, no defects or illnesses or wounds.  Nothing has changed in the last hour except that he slept and slept hard for a good thirty minutes.  And also because it's not imperative.  She doesn't need him in perfect shape to get them through the next obstacle course fate throws at Denver.  Not right now.  Probably not ever.

"That's not what I asked," she says quietly, because she is almost always quiet.

Elijah
"Are you going to leave if I tell you I can make it on my own?" he asked, almost cautiously.

Sid
Without a word, Sid merely inclines her head slightly in a small nod.

Elijah
"Are you okay?" he asked again.

Sid
"I've been worse," she says and, taking his response to be answer enough, she steps back, preparing to go.  "You should sleep some more.  And drink a lot of water.  The altitude and the arid climate, they'll make your hangover at least ten times worse."

Elijah
"You feel like empowerment and joy and something beyond joy, but…"

He knows he shouldn't say this. he knows he shouldn't call people on their physicality and he knows that he shouldn't say anything about how people carry themselves because he has no idea what happened. He has no idea what is going on or how things work. He has no idea how or when or why things went so southerly with Kalen, but what Elijah does know is this:

Sid isn't okay.

Not right now, even if she has been worse before.

"When you walk, you keep your head down and your shoulders in, like you're expecting a kick in the ribs that never shows up but you know it's coming. I don't believe that you're okay, even if you have been worse, you could be a lot better."

Sid
Sid is quiet because Sid seems to have always been quiet.  There was a time before the quiet that no one would believe existed, not after seeing her how she is now, how she's been the last several years.
Sid is quiet, but the silence that follows Elijah's observation is palpable.  It becomes an invisible wall, a dividing line that stands between them.

For a moment Sid considers telling him something.  He's not drunk enough to forget, though, and she's already done enough to him today.  For a moment she considers showing him, but that would be cruel.  And she has been unknowingly and selfishly cruel too much and to too devastating an effect these last few years to do it on purpose.

Instead, she says, "You've seen me once."  Then she turns and starts away, but she stops.  At the end of the hall or the top of the stairs, or both.  She turns her head, looking back at him over her shoulder.

"And the kick always comes."

Elijah
"I'm not going to be okay if you leave," he replies hastily.

Sid
[oh yeah?  percept (paranoid!  whaddayou want!) + awarepathy]
Dice: 7 d10 TN6 (1, 2, 2, 3, 4, 7, 8) ( success x 2 )

Elijah
What does he want?

There is a feeling, a concern, an imperative that he can't help. Elijah looks at her, and even if he is drunk, he is concerned. She's a stranger, but he seems to care about what happens. Looks are deceiving, perhaps he wants something else, because people always want something.
But it's hard to find out what it is that ulterior motive is.

What it comes down to is simple enough- he really is just concerned. He doesn't seem to want in her pants or to convert her to becoming a Mormon or anything. He just... doesn't want her to leave because she's hurting.

Sid
He just cares.  There is a part of her that is moved.  Not enough to stay, though.  For it, it comes down to trust.  And the fact of the matter is that she doesn't.  Doesn't trust him, doesn't trust herself.  Doesn't trust anyone.  She thought for a while that maybe she could trust people, but that was a terrible mistake.  One that she will be paying for for the rest of her life.  One that she isn't likely to make again.

"Then I suggest you call a friend."

Elijah
[Should I push this? Awarepathy]
Dice: 7 d10 TN6 (2, 2, 3, 6, 6, 8, 10) ( success x 4 )

Elijah
He has to push.

He has to, because she's already shut down, and maybe she'll get it if he keeps trying. Maybe she'll stay if she keeps trying, and he knows he shouldn't, but there he is. Elijah inhaled, a little drunk but there is a certain clarity to him, a moment of understanding and self-awareness that came with knowing his limitations and knowing how to read others.

"It's not… It's you, I don't care if I've seen you once, I know how this whole being awake thing works, it's a reflection of who you are- you're a contradiction, you're stuck."

He inhaled sharply, "if you walk down those stairs, I don't know what will happen."

Sid
One step down Sid pauses.  One foot is lowered, ready to accept her weight and carry her down down down and away, and it stays that way for just a little longer.  Hand reaching for the railing, Sid looks back, and when she looks back her expression is solemn, but determined.  Despite her weariness and her wariness she is steady.

"No," she replies, a calm counterpoint to that sharp inhale of hiss.  "You don't.  It's not your job to know, and it's not your job to fix me, either."  Turning away, she takes that steps down, and another more quickly than the last, eager to be away.

Elijah
"Goodnight, Sid," he replies. Sounds wounded... perhaps he is?

No, surely he couldn't be. This stranger, this person who has met her once. This person whose heart bleeds so easily, who first met her while she was having a fight with Kalen. This person who felt like an outsider so often, who ached and burned and hurt so clear and true that it was almost palpable. Je took a step back, this child, and another. Soon enough Elijah exhaled, and started to let himself in the apartment. He fumbled with his key, but he waited to hear if she left before going inside.